Getting There

10-13-10

Airline food is not real food.  It might prolong one’s existence in a pinch, but in reality it is not a sustainable diet.  I’m sure some people will argue otherwise, but who are they trying to mislead?  Even those who don’t fly know airline food is bad.  Yes, a stereotype, but for good reason.

If you’re on a 13 hour flight (in my case), it is agreed that airlines must serve you something.  They have then met a requirement for service.  But since when did something as awesome as food become such a fiscal reliability?  I remember reading years ago when meals were standard that some airline was scheduled to save thousands of dollars per year by eliminating the black olive that sat atop their enchilada “entrée”. 

I feel I am fairly practical, and have studied business in school, so I completely understand this practice and its mentioned appliqué, but come on.  My energy is exhausted for this topic because at this stage in a post 9/11 travel world, during this economic recession in the chronically ailing airline industry… there just is no fix.  Things are just at a point where it’s certainly not perfect, but can’t really get any better without hearty and sincere revolution.  Yes, a revolution of those understandably unsatisfied with airline food. 

If you give a mouse a cookie… he’s going to ask for a glass of milk.  Such is the case; with one big change comes another.  If so, then customers are going to need more room, like a restaurant booth.  And more foot room.  And a Styrofoam to-go box for the delicious food.  Things will get out of hand.  Imagine this scenario far from the realm of current First Class.

Economically, this is unfeasible.  Not only is it outrageously cost-inefficient, but once one person flies like this, they will not be able to change back.  Returning customers is good, but this will be a thin bubble to provoke short term business.  It will burst and the customs will go back to the way they are now or worse, perhaps provoking another airline food revolution… or an all out airline discomfort revolution. 

This is becoming circular.  At this point I can only describe how things are currently.  My personal account is as follows.

Leaving Los Angeles, we were issued “dinner” before cabin lights went out and I successively followed.  I awoke unsettled, legs likely atrophied.  Our flight map indicated we were about exactly half way: encouraging.  Until I got up, my elbows had been at my hips since I sat down due to the guy who thought he was a body builder in his sleep and from sitting shoulder to shoulder with the girl on my left.  Using plastic-wear only with my forearms and by leaning forward was I able to eat, only maneuverable enough to look like a T-rex shoveling “food” halfway, pecking at it like a bird to actually get to it.  Ugh.  A lap of the cabin, a pit stop and a huge drag of water was complacently regenerating enough.  It had to be.  Breakfast was timely and at this point, circumstantially welcomed.  However, coffee refills for my dainty mug could not find their way back to me fast enough.

Upon arrival into Auckland and the following connection to Christchurch, we exchanged our individual remedies for our most dire discomforts.  A hot shower for some, for others a real meal or a nap became the sole dynamic for sobering up the bitterly euphoric travel-weariness.  Our ailments subdued by rest and refreshment, our team which was gathered in Denver was let loose on the little city of Christchurch.  This short vacation has done me in.  I am agreeably captivated by New Zealand.